Ox tail (probably) stew


So, I’m like 93%+ sure this is ox tail stew. If I’m wrong, it’s beef spare rib stew. Whatevs. I had both in my freezer recently. I actually prefer the spare ribs because they don’t take as long to cook, they’re heavy in nourishing connective tissue (like ox tail), but I get the ribs for about 1/3 the price of the tail from my butcher. Shazam.

The… meat, regardless of what precise section of beast it came from, was rendered fork-tender in a pressure cooker with some Pinot Noir, tomato paste, thyme (right amount), rosemary (too much), mirepoix (carrot, onion, celery), and black pepper.

Cool meat… pull meat (heh-heh… whatever…) reduce stock… (yawn…) sauté vegetables (carrot, onion, celery, bell pepper… garlic, probably…) in fat separated from stock… mix all the shit in the pot and fucking eat it, I don’t know… use your imagination…

God-dammit… if I’m bored writing this shit, I can’t imagine how you must feel reading it… not a single cheap, polarizing joke… Oh, sure, I threw in a reflexive masturbatory reference regarding “pulled meat” up there (that’s actually still mildly risible to me…), but nothing un-PC… nothing the overly-sensitive can really get upset over… sigh… if this is what ox tail and/or spare ribs do to me, I’m going to have to eschew both…

There’s gotta be something potentially offensive… (scrolls facebook…) Oh! Y’all hear about the political riots in North Korea? There was some confusion concerning the “rigged election”, but apparently Kim Jong-un just popped a Viagra…

No pity raughs, prease. That joke was ramer than Kim Jong-un’s rittle dick (rimshot). Hey! That was kinda- no? Damn… What the hell is wrong with me…? What if there really is some correlation betwixt consuming this stew and making weak-ass jokes… must do further research… do not consume in the interim…


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