Beef Tongue Sunrise (…oh, it’s a thing, baby! It’s a thing NOW!)

Yeah, so… it’s pretty much just like a savory Tequila Sunrise… only instead of tequila, you have beef stock and chunks of tongue… also, substitute eggs for grenadine… and voila! 

The beauty of our life-giving star peaking over the horizon for yet another journey across the firmament has been romanticized in poetry and song longer than Ted Cruz has been hating gays (when he’s not fellating them, that is), killing people, and molesting children, and that’s a loooooong mutha-fuckin’ time, y’all! 

Now, as alluring as the descriptions may be (…of the sunrise, not- oy… moving on…), this beauty remains largely theoretical to me, as my lazy, hungover ass has never made it out of bed in time to catch this (hopefully) overrated phenomenon, so I’m going to have to take the poet’s word for it.

But, let’s take the verses at face value for the sake of argument, and just assume that bearing witness to the lame-ass sun that everyone sees every boring day of their mundane lives at a lower elevation somehow makes it prettier… Gimme a break. Even if this were true, could it really top the “raw” beauty of a not-really-cooked egg yolk floating in a bowl of hot cow’s tongue soup? I rest my case*.

If you happen to still be reading this inane drivel, this stuff is just the hot version of my Beef tongue Jello shots with poached eggs. Personally, when poaching eggs in soups and stews, I like to separate the yolks, add the whites while the soup is simmering in the pan, pour it in the bowl, then add the yolks so the residual heat just barely cooks them.

*CASE REOPENED: Upon reading my own words (something I should really make a habit of doing more often..) I realize how off-putting this may sound to virgin ears… and really, even if the ears have been fucked… Ummmm… shit… I know I had a point to make about something… Ah! My point is this–tongue, along with much of the ‘weird stuff’ on my page may admittedly sound pretty nasty to the uninitiated, but for those who keep an ‘open stomach’, don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. You don’t hear many people in America raving about tongues, which is a shame, because they’re incomparably delicious and unique.

Well, that’s about all the nonsense I have in me for now… back to responding to my hate mail…